As I sat down to meditate, immediately thoughts came about recent developments and lessons in my life. I could see them (with my eyes closed) as whole blog posts. Two short, yet completed, texts in my mind. I could literally read them, and change them if I wanted to. So I dove into those thoughts deeply, reading them and seeing the clarity in them; what I wrote was about powerful experiences I had recently, powerful in terms of helping me grow spiritually toward being a better person. It took a long time – I am not even sure how long – for me to realize I had been caught up in those thoughts. Sneaky mind again! “Yes, I admit you got me. So what?”, I smiled.
For the rest of the time words would pass by like typed on a screen, random words flying by. I just watched them and decided not to pay attention to them, their meaning or even if they were connected to each other. Time flew by!
And that’s why I wrote listening as the theme for week 2 for me. I will be sitting down in the next six days and being quiet enough to be able to listen to whatever message comes.
Today as I sat down, I could barely keep myself in place. I was super excited for a project coming to fruition that afternoon. This project took me a while to materialize; almost a year. I had been trying to bring kids yoga to public schools, but there was always some obstacle. Even two days before it started, there was a threat of it not happening at all. But then I got the confirmation class would happen with eight kids signed up (That’s a great number!) and my cells started to buzz. I was so excited, I couldn’t focus or try to not focus, haha. It seems contradictive but I could not focus on my breath for instance, and neither was I able to let thoughts pass by without attaching to them. My body and mind kept reminding me of the class and how I finally made into schools in my area, even if only during after school hours, that already counts. My vision is to bring yoga in the middle of the day to students who have to sit through their whole days in schools.
Even though I had the theme and basis of the class down, some ideas were popping up during meditation, and my cells were more like cheerleaders telling me over and over what a start of a break through this is and how we can now move on to change the world! No matter how much I tried to calm down and listen, this is all I could hear – a big enthusiasm running through my body! And so I kept buzzing with that good noise in my mind until the timer rang. It’s all good, I reaffirmed myself.
I continue to try to take time to be in quietude for at least 20 minutes a day, trying to practice the art of listening, even if it means listening to silence. Today since I did not have time to sit and do the other things I had to do, I combined my meditation with the time I had to walk the dog and tried my best to be present during the walk, trying to listen and pay attention to whatever came. I noticed one of my neighbors driving up the hill while I walk a bit more. Less than a minute later, the same neighbor drives back, this time down the hill. A few minutes later, she drove up the hill once again. I walked the dog some more, stopped to collect the dog’s droppings and continued the walk. And soon enough she was back down the hill again… I got puzzled. Less than a minute later, she drove up the hill again. Immediately my mind started judging, “She must be out of sorts today forgetting things at home all the time, then coming back maybe to check if she closed the garage door also.” I proceeded with the walk only to realize I had dropped one of my gloves when I stopped with the dog on the top of the hill. I smiled, looked up to the sky and said, “good one!” Here I was judging a neighbor for forgetting things this morning when I myself dropped one of my gloves on the floor while walking the dog and, even worse, I did not realize it until about five minutes later, after watching the neighbor go up and down the hill. Yes, universe, I got the message: Keep the judgments away. Am I able to proceed with my day in a non-judgmental way?