Day 1: So Hum technique – Before even remembering there would be a meditation waiting for me in my inbox, I sat down in my new position (I sit on the floor and support my back on the side of my bed) and closed my eyes, trying to just breathe. It was very nice and peaceful; I also felt a sweet tone to the air surrounding me – just lovely! The alarm stopped me after 12min as I had to make dinner. Later, at bedtime, I decided to listen to day 1 meditation by Deepak, and even though I am not a big fan of the ‘so hum’ technique, I tried to eliminate my resistance to it and let myself be taken by the breath. The background music was so good that it became effortless to close my eyes and experience the effects of those sound waves on my body. It felt like my body was shaping up as the sound waves, undulating with it.
Day 2: EGO – What do I own? “Spit on the table all that you think you own”… I saw the table and waited for what was going to be put on top. I found nothing after a few seconds. So, I decided to go over my body and clothes as a start. I thought about my clothes, but no, I don’t care if I have to give these clothes away. My watch? No. My earrings? No. I remembered a small ring I bought for myself with the first money I received from my first job! Yes, that ring is special, I still have it; I smile every time I look at it, even though I don’t wear it anymore. So, yes, the ring went on top of the table. But, wait a minute, those jeans I’ve had for a long time (and are usually used to measure my waist size by myself) are also precious to me. Actually I just found a hole on them (on the butt area for so much wearing) three days ago and am ready (am I really?) to give them away. I guess I am still a bit attached to them, but they are going, that’s for sure. So, yes, my special jeans also went on the table.
I thought about my house, car, flowers in the garden, etc. Nope. None of those. My kids? No, I don’t own them; I have learned from so many other mothers that I need to raise them for the world, not for me. My husband? No. Even though I might have tried to own him a few times earlier in our lives together, later I realized it is just silly; he should be free, and me too! So, what do I own? Then, came the image of this big beautiful tree I usually go visit at a park in a neighboring city; it is right next to a big lake. I simply adore it, since the first time I saw it. Yes, that tree was going to my collection. And then I saw the sun rays reflecting on the water – something I enjoy very much. A bold thought came: I own the right to be under the sunshine! Wow! My ego jumped! Why do I own that? Why can’t I be in the rain or fog? I don’t know, although some thoughts right after tried to explain it: it warms me up, it brightens up my days, it makes me feel alive when it touches my skin. So, yeah, sunshine was also going on top of the table.
I then realized my head felt a bit distorted, as if it had been looked under a magnifying glass. Yes, that is it – a magnifying glass I was using to examine things carefully to find out what I think I own. I also found out I think I own my lesson plans for classes I teach and have worked hard to create them. I also own my yoga practice, or so I thought. I thought about love and if I own any part of it, at least the one I feel for others, for loving life. The answer that came was no; and I saw the image of myself bathing in an ocean of love. To me, it represents that I don’t own this love and neither does it own me. It is like I am bathing in an ocean of love – love for others, for nature, for life. It surrounds me and makes me feel comfortable, loving, caring, and … alive!
Next, in the midst of this long, quiet investigation, David called us back, inviting us to later think about all we thought we own. I dislike this later thinking, because there is usually no time to go back to that later. But I enjoyed finding things I think I own, which were all surprising to me and also surprisingly allowed my mind to become quiet. No struggles.
PS: Here is a friend of mine’s experience on the same meditation: http://the-writing-life.blogspot.com/2012/02/meditation-revelations.html
Day 3:Making peace with stress – I had a hard time as thoughts kept coming, but then I noticed a lake. It was full of ripples! Next, I realized that one second before the sound of wind chimes came, the lake would become completely still, and the thoughts would dissipate. It happened as many times as the chimes sounded out. I remembered three really important things I had to do still – one of them being flossing, haha, because my dentist appointment is coming soon!
I have noticed I haven’t been tired for the past three nights! Coincidence? I don’t know. But I have more energy and I can keep going until midnight or even later, which is so unusual! I am not complaining, as I enjoy this very much and obviously need extra hours.
Day 4:Present Moment Awareness – This was a hard one for me. I really thought I was not going to make it (at least awake) until the end of this one! The music sounded annoying to my ears, it seemed to be some sort of sad chanting. As I tried to let go of this resistance to the music being played and just bring awareness to my breath, the image of a lotus flower appeared for me. It was floating on water, but it wasn’t still; it seemed the exhalations from all those people chanting were pushing the flower along this body of water, which turned out to be a stream. It was a slow endless flow. And I watched. And those 10 minutes passed by like it had been only 2! I guess it was not that painful after all.
During my day today, I noticed that my mind was sharper, and I was able to adapt quicker in the midst of a few challenging situations that came up for me. I could also keep up with a super busy schedule, and was able to accomplish all tasks, and I am still up at this hour – wow! I feel thankful for that for sure. I guess it is one more thing I want to celebrate about the present.
By the way, I wish what the lady said at the end (about our abundance of blessings, etc.) had been said before she went silent at around 4minutes or so, so my mind could be exploring that concept during those 10 minutes when she was quiet. After day 2 and day 4, I am beginning to believe we are supposed to continue meditating for about thirty minutes still after the download is done playing. Maybe that is what I am supposed to do with the extra energy gained recently…
Day 5: Releasing the negative – I love the Sanskrit mantra recited! Usually when I hear chants in Sanskrit words, it sounds like birds singing to my ears and feels like a silk veil tucking me in, calmness prevails wherever I am when listening to it. This one was no different. By the end of the mantra, my left arm was vibrating a bunch, and to think I would have trouble with my right arm being on top of my heart the whole time… My head bowed down in the direction of my heart, and there it stayed until the end of the meditation, although at some point it started nodding involuntarily and remained moving for a while, I am not sure how long as my eyes were closed. Some thoughts started to appear and as I tried to bring the focus back to my heart center, something caught my attention: every thought that came up would bring with it a deeper understanding of the situation. I tried to not get attached to that, but it was pretty hard to ignore a chance to learn why some of the things that came up happened. As my consciousness left that deep place and went back to the surface, the lady started talking again, and I felt peaceful, even though some of the insights I got were a bit worrisome. As she prayed that everyone meditating would have an enlightening and enriching experience (or something like that), I tried to extend it, at least in my mind, in the form of peace, not just for those currently participating in this 21-day challenge, but all other beings. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti!
Day 6: Sat Chit Ananda – Okay, this may sound cheesy, but I am just being frank here… Yesterday I had a wonderful experience when a friend of mine gathered many people at her house to bring donations to my upcoming volunteering trip. I was so touched by their loving messages, donations and support that I felt overflowing with love. It took me more than one hour to go to sleep as my whole body buzzed with good energy. And as I sat today, still involved in this loving atmosphere, I followed the directions and started repeating the mantra. I was melting in a puddle of love! At some point a visual image came, and it looked like I was a blob of energy inside a cocoon on top of some plant. Surrounded by this love and bliss, tears started rolling down – good tears, grateful tears. Some past blissful experiences in my life came to the screen of my mind, and I thought about how different and bigger (more whole) these spiritual blissful moments are than physical ones. But hey! How would I be able to realize this if I had not experienced those too? So, yes, I feel thankful for both kinds.
Tears kept rolling, until the lady talked again. She told us to draw our awareness to our heart space, but I noticed I was my heart center at that time, and my heart center, on the other hand, was me! That was kind of mind blowing, and I asked my heart center, “Please remind me when we switched places again?” Yes, I was talking to myself; it’s all good!
I liked the way the meditation ended, after repeating the mantra a couple more times, when she reminded us that we are bliss, we just need to allow it to happen; it’s true and it is simply our choice.
Day 7: Mind-Body Connection – I fell asleep during it… Right in the middle of the day! I will try it again later.