Soulful and Soul-Full Motherhood

Like many other moms, I had no clue about what was in store for me when I had my first baby, moved abroad and then had my second baby. It was a time of super-fast change in my life that started to get me down, but I chose to not go down the hill. All these circumstances led me to question my life and that took me deeply into spiritual discoveries, sometimes called endless search for the Self. It opened up many new doors for me as I got out of a limited way to view things and gained a broader perspective about life.

After thirty years being a skeptical, enough phenomena and self-discovery happened for me to change my mind. This has helped me become a completely different person, and I am able to share some of my learning with my own kids nowadays, the ones they are ready for. Little did I know that I would have an evolved soul for my own kid. I am thankful I went through all I did to be able to learn much and evolve spiritually, so today I can meet my daughter’s questions about life from a deep spiritual view on the same level at least. I could never imagine I would be talking to my kid about how we are not our thoughts and how cloudy we can become if let our emotions overtake us. I certainly had never heard of those ideas before my twenties. And then I find myself blessed with a child already asking me those types of questions! As I am grateful to not be clueless about what she is talking about, on the other hand I can’t claim I have all the answers for her. And even if I did, the best way to teach people is not to give all the answers, but open the doors so they can search for themselves. As many ideas as I can suggest she tries, only she will know what works for her, and that’s when real learning occurs, that is, when you find your own way to understand something, which might be completely different from another person. So, there is no formula that works for everyone, we each need to dig to find our own answers. It helps me to feel at least able to understand why those questions happen and why it is so important to search for an answer to them.

Yesterday I taught my weekly teen yoga class at my daughter’s school. As she came into the room, she mentioned to me she was upset about something, with some tears in her eyes. After all 17 teenagers came in, we settled down and I did a meditation to help them clear their minds and be able to be present at least for this 60-minute-yoga class. We went through mindfulness and breathing techniques, silently repeating an affirmation, and asanas (yoga poses, the physical aspect of the practice) in 55 minutes of laughter, challenges and connection. By connection I mean among all the ones present and also individually connecting our minds to our bodies through breath. At the end, I asked if anyone wanted to share something and a boy said, “I have had a problem in my mind for the past two days, and finally now I can feel it is not bothering me anymore.” Yes!!! He had moved enough to unblock that issue for him, releasing it and moving on. When going back home, my daughter turned to me and said, “You were right about that issue you taught me on the other day. I am sorry for not believing you, today I learned you were right about it. Thank you for helping me try to see it.” Next, we started talking in a very enthusiastic way about life’s lessons and how they work for us. I attribute this moment of clarity she had to be able to see this teaching from what she moved during our yoga class. But the depth of her questioning comes from a deep place inside her that is ready to learn this type of lesson, and that truly amazes me. Please don’t get me wrong, my other daughter also amazes me with the wisdom she already has inside her and the life path she chooses with every move.

We all have lessons we go through every single day, if we are ready for them or not. Some we will get, some we won’t; some lessons won’t even get noticed after many times. I feel very blessed to be the mother of these two beautiful girls, whom I love way more I could ever have imagined possible. I try very hard to stay out of judgment regarding their decisions, yet still being active as a parent. And, since there are no formulas that work for everyone, I keep digging to be the best mother I can, meeting each of my kids at their own level. While writing this, a quick comparison popped into my mind in terms of teaching yoga, when I also have to meet each student at their own level, without judgment. Again, it does not mean I have all the answers, but I bring my knowledge and willingness to work with them through possibilities until we find what works for their bodies’ needs. It feels like growing in their practice with them! It also feels like growing in life with my kids. And we keep learning, every single day.


About thowling

Peace, love and light! Thereza Howling.
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